


【Fate/Grand order】Catalyst

by Mary_MIAO



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:13:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24716608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_MIAO/pseuds/Mary_MIAO
Summary: But this was not the end, not yet. In this moment they were just Enkidu and he was just Gilgamesh, and they were both so mortal and so weak and so human, that Enkidu could not help but indulge themself in beautiful human selfishness, too.
Relationships: Enkidu | False Lancer/Gilgamesh | Archer
Comments: 9
Kudos: 39





	【Fate/Grand order】Catalyst

**Author's Note:**

> *Enkidu's death, as the catalyst of war between Gilgamesh's Uruk and the gods of Mespotamia.

It was in the forest around Uruk, with Gilgamesh hunting beside the river and Enkidu wading barefoot through crystalline water, that their body promptly collapsed. 

For a moment Enkidu simply lay there, bewildered, with water matting their hair and mud dripping down their ankles, thinking that they'd perhaps, unlikely as it was, slipped on a paticularly slimy stone and fell——before the pain hit, leaving them dazed and almost stunned, chest working frantically to suck in air as their limbs fought to find the strength to get up. Their head spun with unfamiliar dizziness, nausea as they'd never felt before twisting their insides into knots. 

And then, as Gilgamesh ran to their side their side with a shout, it clicked. 

The punishment was here. 

“What's wrong? ” Beside them, the king was asking in worried shock, but they knew he would know soon enough, like he always did. “Enkidu, what——” He paused abruptly. 

There was a disbelieving silence. Clairvoyance had kicked in before Enkidu had been able to answer, it seemed; presumably he had never thought to use it on his friend until now. 

Silence, slience, and then a enraged growl from the depth of his throat. “It's them, isn't it,” Gilgamesh said, “It's the gods.”

“Yes.” They confirmed, calmly and quietly, “This is the punishment that I am due.” And it was; the gods had made sure Enkidu knew of their death through the most ominous of images, shown to them every so often on the rare occurrence that they did sleep (a good weapon did not require much rest, after all), dark and looming above their future like an insidious cloud. 

“It is deserved,” They exhaled, and went on to say, “I took part in the death of the goddess Ishtar's sacred bull; moreover, I further dishonored her afterwards. I abandoned my mission as a weapon——”

“Enkidu——”

“——and failed to endear you to the heavens, as had been my purpose. I have helped you kill my childhood protector in cold blood——”

“Listen to——”

“——and betrayed the forest that raised me. I have attempted, as a mere weapon——I attempted——”

“ _Enkidu!_ ”

They stopped. It was impossible not to, hearing the deep, raw chasm opening up in their friend's voice, agony thinly veiled with anger that only served to accent his despair——At least to Enkidu, who knew him better than anyone in the world. 

Gilgamesh took a deep breath. His fists were clenched at his side, shaking, but his voice was not. “How long have you known?”

“……A few months. ”

“And how long _do you have left?_ ”

“A few weeks. Perhaps.”

“And you didn't think to tell this to me? ”

For a few seconds Enkidu was silent, although they had expected and prepared for that very question for so long, now, had thought through a wide variation of answers in their head, concluding time and again that the best course of action was to tell the truth. It was, however, much harder than they'd expected to force the one word through their lips:

“No.”

“You lied to me, then. ”The king accused, and the finalty in those words hurt just as much as the truth. They were not about to betray that, though; it would only heighten their anguish if the king was to see his weapon breaking. 

“I omitted. That's not the same as lying,” So Enkidu protested as they normally would, and tried for a comforting half-smile even as their whole body contorted, again, with pain. But Gilgamesh's hands spasmed and clenched with it, as if sharing their torment, and the smile faded despite their best efforts. 

“I won't forgive you for this, Enkidu. Not this, ” Their friend whispered hoarsely, fists bunching up the fabric of simple white robes Enkidu had always favoured, “This king _swears_ , by his very own honor and by the deepest pits of Kur, never to forgive and never to forget.”

——You once swore to stand by my side until the end of the world. Where are those words now? 

This was as bitter as betrayal and a hundred times more painful. 

And suddenly, they couldn't take it any more. 

Gritting their teeth in effort, Enkidu reached fluidly upwards and, in a sudden motion, jerked their friend close. Could do nothing but to hug him close, to press his golden head into the front of their robes, hard enough to feel warm liquid soaking through thin fabric; so he wouldn't be able to see their own tears, lest it added to his pain. Their head was raised to face the heavens, the curve of their neck graceful as a dying swan. Forest green eyes, once so bright and playful and alive, stared with a morbid fasination at the heavy gray clouds overhead. 

It had been a long time since the first dream, and they'd long since thought themself perpared for the inevitable. But now their heart thumped fiercely with the simple unfairness of it all, wild and helpless beats that counted the seconds until their body would break down, once and for all. 

The rumbling drumbeat of thunder. They enhaled, sharply, brokenly. 

“So never forget.” 

Words that they would never say, had never even thought about saying, that went against their very code of being but which came unhesitatingly, quick and desperate and seemingly torn out of their throat. So very selfish. So very necessary. A plea, a demand, a condemnation. 

“Never forget, my king, my friend. Not until the end of the world shall you forget this moment.” So I will be with you, always. 

**_Never forget me._ **

Enkidu knew with certainty that they would regret those words in their last moments, held, perhaps, in the arms of their best friend just as he was now, in theirs. They would berate themself over and over again for daring to say them; for daring to steal loneliness away from a king, for betraying his trust——hurting him without permission, for failing so throughly at their first self-appointed task of _staying_. For breaking their promise in the worst way possible. 

But this was not the end, not yet. In this moment they were just Enkidu and he was just Gilgamesh, and they were both so mortal and so weak and so human, that Enkidu could not help but indulge themself in beautiful human selfishness, too. 

When they were grabbed by the chain around their collar and kissed, it felt like the best and worst thing in the world, cold and bleak and yet fragant as the first blossom of spring, hopeless and hopeful all at once. Salt was on their lips and his, and a hint of stale dust, soon joined by the wild metallic tinge of blood as sharp teath worried against dry, crumbling lips. There was a sharp gasp, half a sob. Enkidu couldn't tell who had made the noise, them or Gilgamesh, or possibly both. 

The clouds swirled and boiled overhead, rolling thickly with thunder; lightning flashed, twisting quick and deadly within the dank gray vapour. The storm was close, a few minutes away at most, promising rain and wind and inevitable flood. Destruction. 

Enkidu stroked the soft golden hair falling through their fingers, and likened its colour to the shining sun. 

~End~


End file.
